My life would suck without you.

Well, I feel like I should blog, so I am.

Nothing too exciting is going on except for I've run so many errands the past few days. Which is fun because I love driving Cupcake/Snowflake/Cuppie/Cupperton again. And its just fun to be able to drive and know where I am and where everything is. And its fun to shop. Although, yesterday, my "errands" consisted of spending just under $100 on gas. I had to fill up all three cars and the guy at the gas station was way funny because he was like "oh, you're back again." Yeah, so fun. I've also been trying to find a job and that has been not so successful. Hopefully I'll be able to get one soon but I really have no idea if I will. Its just a waiting game.

Yesterday, we went to the temple for a youth trip. But all the college kids were invited so we had a pretty large group. Like huge. And they weren't as organized as they should've been so it was kind of a mess but it all worked out. There was just a whole lot of waiting going on. Which is actually nice because its nice to just be in the temple because its so peaceful. But it was funny because dad baptized me and he wanted to practice the names before he did it. And then he still messed a few of them up. Oops. After the temple, we went to Fenton's in Oakland (which is featured in Pixar's "UP", yeah, be jealous.) I'd been there before with the FitzGerald's and it was delicious so I was obviously so excited to go back. And it was just as good as before. So good. mmmm just thinking about it makes me want it again.

Fenton's in "UP":

Oh so Becca entered the MTC today. Like 45 minutes ago. SO CRAZY. Now there are two Sister Quists in the mission field (ish) and one Elder Quist. We planned it out perfectly so that if Matt enters the MTC like the month he turns 19, all 4 Quist brothers will have a child on a mission. Haha how perfect.

Hmm, speaking of Nicole, I feel like a horrible sister because I haven't written her in forever. And its funny because she even told me before I came home that I can't follow the influences of the people here at home because they never write her. But my whole routine is a little messed up so I just kind of forget. But I shall write her today.

Everything I do, reminds me of Josh. Like writing letters to Nicole because I was always writing her at school when they were over. And like last night at Fenton's because it was in "UP" and I watched it with him. So it makes me miss him a whole lot more. Luckily, I only have 6 more weeks until I get to see him. Its just going to be weird because we're going to have to find new places to hang out and stuff to do because it'll like only be us (unless Erin and Michelle want to be the super fun 3rd or 4th wheel(s). haha) And its going to be absolutely freezing outside which I'm not looking forward to but thats okay. It'll be fun to be back in Rexburg and back in Josh's arms.

Christmas

Today was a really weird day. It was Christmas but it didn't feel like Christmas at all. Except for the presents part but that was still kind of surreal. I guess the fact that I wasn't home when the whole house was decorated and that I left my "normal life" in Rexburg to come home to no snow and a weird house (because of the decorations), it just felt.... strange. My brain couldn't comprehend that it was Christmas time. And the fact that Nicole wasn't home made it even stranger. It was funny though because in like September, we watched some home movies from Christmas 1994 when it was just Nicole and I and we kept quoting stuff that we said in the video all day today. Like for instance, in one point in the video, three-year old me opens a present from six-year old Nicole and she gets really upset after I open it because I don't say thank you so she looks at me and says "Danielle, say 'Thank you, Nicole!'" Just the way she said it and looks at me is so funny. So we (mostly just Jack and I) kept saying it over and over today just because that Christmas video was hilarious.

Anywho, we got to talk to Nicole today! She told us in her email last week that she signed up to call at noon (her time) so we should expect a call from her today at 11 am. Well dad had the brilliant idea to get in his car so we could use his Bluetooth and all talk to her on speaker phone in there (because thats what we did when she got her call and she had to call everyone to tell them...) so we all got in the car and all ready to talk to her but at 11, she didn't call. She finally called at about 11:20 and when we answered the phone, she was sobbing. And when she cries, I cry. So my eyes got all watery and I was trying so hard not to cry. Luckily, I didn't but it was close. She finally composed herself and we had a really good talk with her. It was so fun to hear her voice. And just talking with her. She told us all about mission life and she even spoke to us a little bit in Mandarin which was cool. We only got to talk to her for 40 minutes though but its better that than nothing. I miss her.

The rest of Christmas was pretty good. Uneventful but just a lazy day, which is the best. We watched 'Elf' again which was my third time in the past two weeks. It was still funny. And we played Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games on the Wii for a long while yesterday and our arms were really hurting. haha but it was a fun Christmas of eating junk and doing nothing.

Its really weird to me that I've been home for more than a week. Crazy. Hopefully the rest of the semester goes by this quickly so I can return to my lovers in Rexburg. Since I miss them dearly. And when I say lovers, I mean Jessica. :) (I miss Josh too but he won't be there when I go back so I'm only mentioning Jess.)

Drenched in Vanilla Twilight

I really miss Josh.

A ridiculous amount.

I miss sitting close to him on the couch, and just touching him. Or walking around and holding his hand. Or having him walk up behind me and just hold me. I need to be with him. I'm like craving him. We don't need to be doing anything specific I just need to be near him. And now he is 2000+ miles away in Georgia. We're on opposite complete opposite sides of the country and sucks. Luckily, we do text each other quite frequently but that just isn't cutting it. I need to feel his embrace.

Jessica showed me this wonderful song tonight, "Vanilla Twilight" by Owl City and it is EXACTLY how I am feeling. Here are the lyrics:

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here

I always think of him tonight...and all day. I am seriously considering going out there in January and I am pretty hopeful that it'll happen. Flights aren't that expencive and I have nothing better to do. Plus, by then, I'll really need him.

Ah, I guess I just needed to vent a little bit?

Time for bed... :)

Home.

Well, I'm back in Los Altos and it feels really weird. I miss Rexburg a lot. Mostly because I miss my roommates and Josh. Its kinda nice to be home with all the food and Christmas treats. :) But its just really crazy because I'm not in my bed, or in my room (or I guess my old room) but I am still using my closet. So everything is super different. And all the Christmas decorations are up and so the whole house looks different. I miss my Rexburg way of life.

I am not really excited to be home just because I feel like I am going to be really bored. I am going to have to find a job and that just sounds like no fun. Hopefully I'll be able to find a really fun job so I'll be able to not waste my four months away but I'm worried I won't. I think the job hunt might start tomorrow. Great...

The weather here is strangely uncomfortable. I miss the cold weather of Rexburg which sounds weird but it was in the high 50's today and I was almost wishing for the mid-30's that we were enjoying this past week. I guess I was excited to come home to the warmth and hopefully it'll cool down a bit because this is like summer weather and I want coldness.

This Christmas is going to be super weird. I think that part of the reason its weird to be home is because Nicole is still gone. This is my first Christmas ever without her. Her stocking isn't up, her ornaments aren't up, its just empty. :( I miss her. And although I'm going to talk to her on the phone on Friday (which I'm VERY excited about), its definitely going to make missing her a whole lot worse. And I'm undoubtedly going to cry.

I guess its been kinda fun being home. We went to Temple Hill on Friday night and saw the lights and a hand bell choir concert which was good. And then I went to Colleen's for a party (since every time we hangout, its a party) and it was way fun to see everyone since its been forever. They were all so interested about Josh though which was funny. I had to tell them like every detail. We played Pictionary and obviously the team of Colleen, Katherine and I beat the team of Molly and Brittany. It was super fun even though I was texting Josh and Jessica and I think they got a little bit mad. Oops. And then I came home at one and talked to Jessica on the phone until like 2:30.

Katherine, Colleen and I had another party last night too. We made pizza and then cupcakes then watched 27 Dresses and then played Charades. And Molly, Brittany and Courtney slowly joined in on the fun. Its been super fun hanging out with my clan but I do miss my Rexburgians.

Church was crazy because everyone was so excited I was home and everyone wanted to talk to me. I felt super famous. haha but its going to be weird when I have to go to 'old people' Sunday School and Relief Society. Not looking forward to that...

This week includes looking for a job, going to the city, celebrating Christmas, talking to Nicole, sleeping in, eating delicious food. I can't wait. :)

No Hope, No Love, No Glory

Well, I really don't want to do homework. So instead of sitting here typing up my homework, I'm going to blog since its what I do in my spare time.

I just took my Geography final. That was an experience. I didn't really feel like studying for it last night so I didn't. I also don't really care about my grade all that much in that class. Its not going to change a whole lot based on what I got on the final today. So I just took it and didn't really care about what happened. Which is lucky because I doubt I did better than a 70% or so on it. :/

It really hit me last night as I was walking back from the library that I'm leaving on Friday. I just felt like crying but I couldn't. I'm sure it'll come soon enough though. I can't even comprehend what I'm going to do with my life for 4 months while I'm back home and I am somewhat considering staying here although such last minute, I know it wouldn't be a good idea. So I'm going home. I'm leaving school and my roommates and my boyfriends to sit in California for four months and hopefully make a little bit of money. I guess the positive of this is not having to deal with the horrible Iceburg, I mean Rexburg, winter. Its also funny because my whole family knows I'm not looking forward to coming home so I feel a little bit bad. Actually, I'm excited to go home a little bit. I'll get to eat real food, talk to Nicole on the phone, drive Cupperton, and see all my friends. Its just going to suck when they all go back to school.

I have 3 more classes and one more test and then I'm done with school until April 20th. How ridiculous.

In other news, Josh and I decided last week that we were going to break up this week before we both left. And I've been getting more and more depressed when I think about it because I don't want to. I don't know if our other options are better but I just feel like they would be. So we're going to have a little chat in a few minutes and re-evaluate our relationship and I am pretty dang positive that we're going to keep dating over winter. But I guess we'll see? Things would feel so much better if we didn't just break up because we thought we had to.

I got a letter from Nicole yesterday. AND I got an email. Ah, I miss her. But I know that she is doing the Lord's work so its okay. And I know that she'll be home in 15 months or so and that seems crazy to me that she's already been our 3 months. (Her 3 month mark is tomorrow, the 16th). It feels like she's been gone for so much longer. Her letters are just so precious. I feel like she says essentially the same things in all her letters but they vary a little bit. Its funny. And she thinks my letters are really random. Well, what does she expect? I feel horrible though because I haven't written her in so long (I think its been a week.) Hopefully I'll be able to write one today and then make sure it goes out with the mail tomorrow. I can't believe that its almost Christmas and that we get to talk to her on the phone soon! I've been looking forward to it for weekssss and its next week!

I guess I should go and get some homework done... even though I really don't want to...

The Final Countdown

I can't believe that I only have a week left. In exactly 168 hours (7 days) I will be on an airplane over California and approaching San Jose. WEIRD. I am really excited to go home. Its going to be really fun for about the first 2 weeks. But then when everyone else starts going back to school (all my friends) and I'm just bored at home, I'm going to really be missing Rexy. Although, I am excited to get away from the snow and cold (although its really warm outside right now; 18 degrees but it feels so much warmer). I am really going to miss the people here especially my roommates and Josh and the boys (well, mostly Josh and Eric...) I am seriously going to be bored out of my mind for 3 months. Hopefully I'll be able to find a super fun job but I'm not too sure that'll happen. Or I'll take some classes but that just doesn't seem all that fun. I'll probably end up doing it though...because it'd be better than doing nothing...

Well, I have so so much to do.

-Taking a final in about an hour (need to study for that)

-Finishing a group project at 4:45

-Cleaning ALL night long (I really wish I was exaggerating)

-RS Christmas Party tomorrow

-Do homework/Study all Saturday/Sunday

-School/Movie for class/Ward Closing social/Study on Monday

- Geography test/FDAMF final tuesday

-PACK/finish school wednesday/thursday

-FLY HOMEEEE on friday.

WOW, I better get to work.

It also sucks because I'm not really sure exactly what Josh and I are going to do about us for winter/spring. hmmm this could be interesting....

Falling into Place

Things this week have been so much better than anticipated.

Being back in Rexburg has been wonderful. I love being back with my roommates and sleeping in my fun loft bed and just being here. School has been good too. I was kinda expecting to come back and be way stressed out about school since finals are like in a weekish but it hasn't happened yet. I'm sure it'll come. Right now though, its so nice because I don't really have to worry about it all that much. I'm not really looking forward to going home at all though which is actually really surprising but I'm really going to miss Rexburg and I feel like I'm going to be way bored at home. Hopefully I'll be able to fill my time.

Things with Josh are going absolutely splendidly. :) I was really worried last weekend to come back to Rexburg because I was pretty sure things would be awkward with Josh but it has been the complete opposite. Its so weird and different now but in a really good way. It is really too bad that our relationship has an expiration date of sorts (not only the fact that I'll be gone in 2 weeks but that he still has to serve a mission...). But currently, things are great. I just wish there was an easy solution for our current problem.

Anywho, tonight (or I guess last night...), Jessica, Erin and I went to David Archuleta's concert that was here and it was so fun. The opening act was Benton Paul and he was sooo good. I would've gone to the concert just for him. 'Chuleta was really good too. He was so funny because he was like visibly nervous and sometimes he like got off track and confused which was so cute. It was way fun. And I got a nice ol' shirt with his face on it. Erin bought his Christmas CD and Jess bought Benton's CD and they're both way good. I love them. Its really too bad that we moved to California from Murray or I could've been best friends with 'Chuleta. Its really quite a shame actually...

In other news, its freezing here. The weather is the only reason I'm excited to leave Iceburg...I mean Rexburg. Our high here is a like 15 degrees colder than the low at home. That is a big problem so I'm excited to go home to warmth. I'm just not excited to leave my roommates or my boyfriend or my way of life. Hmmm.

I love MY missionary the most.

I LOVE getting letters from Nicole. It makes my day so much better. Especially because she is just so funny and random in her letters. I love it. It makes me miss her but at the same time, I feel like she is here with me and she says the same thing (that she feels like I'm with her because of my frequent letters). Its weird to me but she comes home in 15 months exactly!! (March 2, 2011) 18 months seems so much shorter than 2 years and it has been going by so quickly. Its crazy. Anyway, she always writes me because I always write her but I've been kinda a slacker this past week so I'm just sending her a letter tomorrow and I feel really bad because its been forever but I know that I'm still her favorite person because I handwrite my letters. :) Thanksgiving was really weird without her because when Jack or I would talk sometimes, people said that it sounded like Nicole. :( And I felt like the odd one out because I didn't have my pal. And I still have one more Thanksgiving to endure without her. I also keep hearing about people going to TMSQ (thats code for Temple Square) and it makes me realllllllly wish I could go. It was really hard to be in Salt Lake last weekend and being able to see the Square (well, the Temple) and not being able to go and see her. But I know its for the best and I'll just let everyone else I know say hi to her for me. (If you happen to be in the Salt Lake area, stop by Temple Square and say hi to Sister Quist for me please!) I really miss her and although it hasn't been as difficult as I thought it would be, I miss my best friend and being able to text/talk(to)/tease/hug/tickle/cuddle (with)/reminisce (with)/joke (with)/pester/cook (with)/play (with)/drive (with)/ see her.

Hmm, I guess I really wanted to blog about something other than my life.